Suffered Abuse and Now You Think Too Much?
Do you ever notice that you have a hard time letting go of your mistakes?
Maybe your mind goes on autopilot with all the what ifs. Or you replay a situation over and over, beating yourself up for missteps you wish you could undo.
Maybe you compare yourself to others—sometimes favorably, sometimes not. Or you get triggered and traumatic memories surface, pulling you into rumination. However it shows up, the loop is the same: round and round you go, full of angst.
If you’re a social person, this rumination may show up as talking things through repeatedly. Each time, it feels like just one more conversation will bring relief—yet it never quite does.
If you’re not social, it may all happen silently in your head.
Either way, it’s exhausting—especially because it’s rarely the thoughts that build you up that get revisited. It’s the ones that tear you down.
Why This Happens After Trauma or Abuse
Did you know there’s a reason this pattern exists?
Every person has what’s called a default mode network (DMN)—a network in the brain that activates when we’re not focused on an external task. In a healthy system, the DMN supports daydreaming, reflection, memory, and meaning-making. It’s where we spend roughly 40% of our waking time, helping us process experiences, relationships, and perspectives.
But when someone has experienced repeated trauma or childhood abuse, the default mode network can undergo structural and functional changes.
When the DMN is shaped by trauma, its role shifts. Instead of supporting neutral reflection or creativity, it becomes centered around survival, threat, and self-protection. Processing turns into overprocessing. Reflection turns into rumination.
As a result, you may notice patterns like:
Spending excessive time reliving the past or replaying traumatic experiences
Difficulty remembering large portions of your personal history
Persistent negative thoughts about yourself that feel stuck on repeat
Trouble focusing on tasks in the present moment
Feeling fragmented, disconnected, or “not fully here”
Difficulty regulating emotions or calming your nervous system
(For me, this showed up most clearly in memory gaps—I could only remember the name of one teacher from my entire childhood.)
The Part That Matters Most
This is not the end of the story.
These changes were adaptations—intelligent responses to an unsafe environment. And just as they developed in response to trauma, they can shift with healing.
There are many trauma-informed approaches that help calm the nervous system and reduce the constant, negative self-focus that rumination creates. As your system settles, it becomes easier to create a more cohesive, compassionate, and life-giving narrative about yourself.
Healing isn’t about stopping thoughts by force.
It’s about helping your nervous system feel safe enough to rest.
To learn more about the heart driven mission of Resolve to Rise and get more resources on healing from trauma, chronic stress, PTSD, and Complex PTSD, visit resolvetorise.com.
