Healing is Possible
As we walk through the darkness and deal with the experiences that have held us hostage, a new thing is revealed; a new way of responding, and living, and loving.
When you are dealing with the impacts of trauma, it is easy to get swept away with the belief it will never get better. I know that all to well. In my bestselling book, "Resolve to Rise: Become Greater than Your Circumstances," I talk about the importance of going through the pain to come out on the other side, because you cannot go around it.
After years of my own counseling, I still found that certain situations and content were triggering for me. Increasingly counseling sessions were helping me understand how my response showed up in my body; often in a sense of pulling back away and tensing up in a posture of self-defense. It often left me feeling like I was never going to know healing and always be vulnerable to intense emotional reactions to seemingly small circumstances.
In the past few years, I doubled down in an effort to minimize the impact in my body and in my life. Here's what I got from the therapy and interventions I received:
Epigenetic counseling: I learned so many things about how love should flow from parent to child and so on. But, the biggest take away I remember is the idea that boundaries are not to protect you from others, but to protect you from yourself. When envisioning my mom coming towards me, I felt an urge to tuck into myself and look away. It was not because I was afraid of what she would do, but rather I was concerned of how I would alienate myself to care for her. So, I started leaning in to care for myself.
Internal Family Systems: I learned that each part of me had a reason for existing and information to share. I had a tendency to discount and push away my reactive and negative emotions and press myself towards positive action. In the process, I lost out on attuning to myself and understanding why the negative emotions were there. When I attuned I realized there were boundaries I needed to erect; requests I needed to make in my relationships. So, I attune to myself, and then am able to request what I need and take better care of myself.
Network Chiropractic: I learned how I have held the trauma in my body over the years. Like an abused dog that cowers in situations that remind him or her of their abuse, I was doing the same thing, albeit more subtly. My body had memorized patterns of responding and was never fully releasing to allow my energy and nervous system to freely flow. As I learned to breathe into these spaces I have been able to release the tension and relax my approach (re-establishing a fluid flow in my nervous system) no longer cowering in response to things that used to trigger me.
Neurofeedback: I learned that even decades later my high frequency brain waves were still the most active (indicating fight or flight) with the occasional dip into low frequency brain waves (as if I were asleep), but rarely were my reflective and calming brainwaves online. After several sessions, my brain was trained and using the more calming frequencies releasing me from a lifetime of fight or flight. And, I felt it. I reached a place of non-reactivity and I could begin changing my patterned responses.
Each approach brings a new and different possibility alive and all it takes is a sincere and earnest effort. No matter what approach you receive it is important to listen to yourself. Does it feel like it's helping? Are you noticing a positive difference? It is not just okay to try different approaches, sometimes it is required in the search to find what is most healing for you! I find a combination of a couple helps me the most.
If you haven't already, take a moment to check out the approaches on my website. See what resonates and feels right to you, because that matters!! Once you find one or two methods you want to try, look for individuals who are certified and using that approach. This should be listed in Psychology Today. I find that many professionals indicate they have expertise in working with individuals suffering from the effects of trauma, but have no certification or experience to back up the claim. This is why it is important for you to know what you are seeking and go after that directly.
If you have any questions, feel free to send me an email through my website. Just scroll down to the bottom of the page and "email the author."
